tears and smiles
August 16, 2005
Last night, too many thoughts took over my head—a lot of worries and sadness. I was working on my thesis, and I was doing very well. I was happy what I have done last night–no doubt. I was super exhausted and tried to fall asleep, and it hit me—I subconsciouly started thinking about many many things–people, career, time, age, health? (why? I don’t know), and so on. It was totally crazy, and I don’t know how it started. Well, I am in a transitional state, so it is natural that these concerns occur to me, but it fluctuated my emotion like a roller coaster. I started crying–more like weeping. I couldn’t stop it. I was stuck in a negative land…I hate not being able to fall asleep. Harper took me out from there. And I thought, how do I deal with this without him, and I got sad again. I just needed to let it out though. He is very good at leading me to a positive direction without ignoring reality and reasonable explanation. Thank you, Harper…
I feel much much better today. I am working on my thesis now (having a little break now). I try not to freak myself out, that is my goal for this week. This is not the end of the world, isn’t this?
